You have been broken. You had a lot of strength before, but inner strength that comes naturally brings only false security. Anyone who seeks Me must be broken of their own strength; then they discover My strength. My strength only comes through a broken vessel.
Paul was a man of great strength — physically, mentally, and emotionally. But he had to be annihilated, and he was. Now my church follows his teachings, but do they comprehend the passion of his broken life? How he had to be taken and “unlearn” all the things he had endeavored so mightily to enforce? Can you imagine his heartbreak over My children he had killed?
This heartbreak was real, and it needs to be real in those who follow Me. To see yourself as you truly are is a gift from Me. I allow you to see your frailty, and your own powerlessness, and your own inability to do anything apart from Me. Human nature will fight this truth, but those who are able to receive it will enter into a position of abiding in Me that provides rest from their own efforts.
You cannot be strong apart from Me. Any warrior knows where his strength comes from, because he knows what is in him. He has come face to face with his deepest self in light of My grace and My glory.
You cannot break yourself. Brokenness only occurs by My hand. I arrange circumstances in the lives of My children so they die to their own will. How is this accomplished without pain? How is it managed without heartbreak? If I could do so, how I would! How I would lavish My gifts without reservation, but how shaky human nature is! And how strong is the Tempter! The one who overcomes is the one who does not love his or her life to the death. Power over the enemy comes in death. I conquered in death, and I break down to nothing that which I desire to build.
Further References: Jeremiah 9:23-24; John 12:24-25; Philippians 3:10
©2005 Masterpiece of the Wilderness, Deanna Deering